Monday, August 22, 2011

Flash Monday

I know that if you want to publish something, you don’t post it on a public website. I never had any illusions that this piece would be published anywhere; it's too short, and isn't really a story, exactly, but it's finished. It's got no place to go from here (at least not as far as I can see), so I'm presenting it to you.

I wrote this in my Writer’s Group back on May 23rd. We were working off a prompt, but I was distracted by a barrage of artificial sounds spilling into our writing area from out on the street. I wrote three pieces that day: One, a brief exposition on cell phones and ring tones in general; this one here; and a third involving a teacher who was out of touch with his students. That last one has promise, though I don't know where to go with it, and I haven't really looked at it since I wrote it. This piece has changed very little since it flew out of my head that afternoon. I hope you enjoy it.

The Ringtone

Ominous music poured out of Richie’s pants.

Dun dun dun, DA duh-dun, Da duh-DUN.

“Crap,” he said, reaching for his pocket. “It’s the wife.”

I laughed. “You use Darth Vader’s theme song as your wife’s ringtone?”

Richie’s hand paused halfway to his ear. He said, without a trace of humor, “If you lived with her you’d know why.”

He flipped open the phone, plastered a phony smile on his face, and injected saccharine into his voice. “Hey, honey, how are you?”
# # #


  1. Oh I say you keep going with it. Right now I'm actually imagining that the MC's wife IS Darth Vader.

  2. Hah! I love how you wrote the sound out. I was able to guess it without explanation. :D

  3. Thanks for the comments, all. Steve, I really felt like it was done, but now I see ALL KINDS of possibilities for 'The Wife' to make a rather attention-grabbing entrance.

  4. Haha. I know someone who thought about using that ring tone for their mother. I think you could definitely keep going with this.

  5. I absolutely love the first line. Darth Vader's theme for the wife's ringtone - I want to know more about this guy! Catchy beginning.

  6. Thanks, Robin and Jennifer.

    The first line made my writer's group laugh out loud. It's nice to get that kind of response. Maybe I'll have to poke around with this one a bit more....

  7. "Ominous music poured out of Richie’s pants." ROFL

    However, the rest of it's sad.

  8. Haha, I loved it Jeff. I know someone in my extended family who is exactly like that. Bravo! I'm jealous about your writer's group; I want one.


Alas, due to an overwhelming tide of spam from Anonymous commenters, you must now be a registered user to comment. Sorry, folks, I hope it does not cause inconvenience.