Bonnee Crawford kindly tapped me for a LiebsterAward. List 11 facts, answer 11 questions, etc. I, however, got hung up on question #5: Was there a character from a kids' show that you were legitimately afraid of? Yes, yes there was.
Bozo the Clown.
Now, before I get into the details, let me say this: I find the question really interesting. "Legitimately afraid." Was my Bozophobia a legitimate fear? In reality, no. Bozo never hurt me. He never threatened my family. He never came after me with a knife, never tried to drag me into the sewers to feed. He never did anything wrong. My clown fear was totally unreasonable, but it was very real to me, and thus legitimate.
I alluded to my Bozophobia a couple of years ago (Ten Things about...Me?), but I didn't give you the full story. In that post I stated Bozo the Clown
was a favorite, even though I was afraid of clowns. The thing is, I wasn't
always afraid of clowns.
When I was little, I loved Bozo the Clown. I used to watch
the show all the time. At least, I think I did; I can't actually remember
anything about it. I can't remember the sound of Bozo's voice, or the names of
any other characters, or even if there were any other characters. I don't
remember any favorite gags or skits, or anything about the show. Maybe I was
too young to really remember any of that. It's a fact of my life that I just KNOW, you know?
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| I've never figured out what that logo is supposed to be. |
I do remember this, however: Bozo the Clown came to visit a
toy store near us and I wanted desperately to meet him. (And how great is this when
you're a kid? A toy store—in walking distance!). So my father took me. And what
happened? I didn't shake his hand, I didn't get his autograph, I didn't get my
picture taken with him. IN fact, my only view of him that I do remember is from
one end of an aisle where I peered around the racks of toys and games while
Bozo stood on a little platform greeting some kids. I wouldn't go near him. I
was terrified.
To this day I can't say why I was so frightened. Maybe it
was that normal sort of fear people sometimes get when they meet a celebrity or
idol (I wouldn't exactly qualify Bozo as an idol; he was never in Bobby Orr
territory, but still: Bozo the Clown!): what if I say something stupid? What if
he says something stupid? What if he
turns out to be a complete asshole? It's funny, we want our celebrities and
heroes to be just like us—until they are, then we think they're dicks. Really, however, I think what
really happened is I caught a glimpse of Bozo in person and discovered this
fundamental fact of life: clowns are fucking creepy.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
